From the Field - October 2024

Pastors are prone to suffer, and that suffering comes in many ways. There are attacks from without and attacks from within. Sometimes, we get caught up in the thought that if we are faithful, nothing will ail us. This is just not true. As the hymn, "Just as I Am," says, "fightings within and fears without."

Sometimes, suffering comes from without. In ministry, we get tossed about, and conflicts arise and often come from the church. Once, a pastor spread rumors about me, and it crushed me. I tried to resolve it with him, but there was no resolution. I would forgive, but every time a new hurt would arise, I would dig up this particular hurt and wallow. I wanted revenge, but God’s Word comforted me in the fact that I am blessed when persecuted for doing what is right.

Sometimes, suffering comes from within, and we become our own worst enemies. We struggle with doubts—doubts of our effectiveness, doubts of our ability. These fears within are so hard. For a time, I was done with ministry; I loved God but did not love ministry. Friends would encourage me to press on, for God was doing a good work through me, but my response was simple, “If God is not enough for me in ministry, I do not want it anymore.” I began to read and beg God to comfort my heart.

After months of prayer, Psalm 61 and 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 restored my heart and renewed my passion for ministry. I could cry out, and God would attend and answer. From wherever I was, God would hear when my heart was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed, so discouraged, depressed, and broken, and I felt as if I could not breathe. I prayed for God to lead me to the rock that was higher than I, to lead me to Jesus. David remembered how God was his shelter, his strong tower, meaning God was his protection. David was preaching the gospel to himself and was comforting his own heart. What was inspiring most was that I realized God would be my protection. I can go into God's Tabernacle and hide under His wings, for God is my sustaining God.

Lastly, health circumstances may and will come. In 2021, I was ventilated twice, and my family was advised that I would die, but God had other plans and woke me up. I remember that upon leaving the hospital, I thought ministry as I knew it was done; I would need to learn a new way to minister. I knew God would sustain me, but I did not know how, and that was scary. By the grace of God, I have been restored to full health, and God was using me.

Brothers, do not let your circumstances derail you from faithfulness, no matter how tempting. Suffering comes, but His grace is sufficient in suffering. Look to Christ, dear brothers; look to Christ.

Tommaso Pasquarella

Interim Pastor

Canal Point Baptist Church

Canal Point, Florida